This guy figured it all out–how to get away with, well, anything! Just fake a coma. For a couple of years or so. And everybody will forget about you!
Unless you happen to be driving around town, cashing your government assistance checks, and living the dream.
Still, I think the principle here is useful: if anyone bothers you, just practice permanent avoidance: go to sleep. For two years. That’ll teach ’em!