Long day, as the title implies. Students need my help. I have to play Superman all day and decode the universe for them. I don’t want awards or recognition or– wait, yeah, that would be great. Humility is overrated and tastes like old chapstick.

I am reminded of 1 Samuel 24, when David enters a cave while running from the mad King Saul and stumbled upon the old monarch himself, taking a dump. David considers doing away with his enemy right then and there, but he realizes that God chose Saul to be king and it would be wrong to kill him, despite the ruler’s own murderous intentions.

Later David catches Saul outside the cave and tells him he could have killed the king, but will not sin against God. He shows him the corner of the king’s robe he cut with his knife, to prove the point quite literally.

The same thing happened to me at Olive Garden:

Our server left on our table one of those magical, proprietary circular cheese graters bearing the Olive Garden logo and all the gravitas a yellow plastic kitchen utensil can muster.

This grater stayed on our table for a half hour. I’m sure it is secreted it in Chrissi’s backpack, we could have had our own felled king, our own badge of glory, our own cheese-built throne.

Instead of stealing it I took this photo to say I won’t sin against God’s finest graters.

Item 1:

Linguini (whole grain, just for the fiber at this point)

Marinara meat sauce

Meatballs! (Got a little crazy but it really has been a long week)

Item 2: linguini with

cheese marinara with

boring old chicken

Weight: 164

Breadstick count: threeve

Understanding: deep