All right so this, sadly, almost qualifies as a food hack, if people still say that kind of thing.

No, your eyes don’t deceive you: those are breadsticks in the nude. They haven’t been dressed with that incredible mixture of salt and oil that jacks the calorie count up from ~140 a piece to ~400 each. And the sodium content is about the same numbers, except in milligrams.

As much as that topping is delicious it can go down a little rough sometimes if you’re the kind of person who tries to keep track of your sodium count without requiring scientific notation.

Anyway, much like the salads, you can ask for the bread with nothing on it. The server will warn you that it will take the kitchen some time, but that’s quite all right. If they haven’t figured out by visit 14 in less than 4 weeks that we have nothing but time on our hands, then puritanical requests like undressing the bread legs aren’t going to change any minds.

If you’re wondering, the breadsticks are still fine without the topping, and if you, like me, are planning to dip your sticks into any sauce you can find within twenty yards then all that salt you really can do without.

Alternately, if you don’t want to wait half an hour for your clean, shy bread, you could just settle for the normal topped sticks and scrape the salt off yourself with a napkin or sock. If you’re really resourceful you could keep it in a flask or Tupperware and be set for salt for the foreseeable future in case of nuclear war or massive earthquakes.

Bring your appetite! And your blood pressure meds.

Item 1: linguini, meat sauce (side), breaded shrimp

Item 2: linguini, breaded chicken

Item 3: linguini, grilled chicken

Breadsticks: 2 (dry)

Weight: $£€¥

Eyesight: 20/200